"tl;dr is "If you quit today, we will pay you for the amount of time you’ve worked, plus we will offer you a $1,000 bonus.""

Paying you for the amount of time you worked is a legal obligation. So really you are talking about can you find an equivalent or better job in the amount of time you would have earned $1,000 if you stayed. Even in the lowest of paying legal jobs in the US, it does not take that long to earn $1,000 relative to securing a job. Not to mention that new job is not guaranteed to fit into your current living situation and other factors that cause the inertia for staying with a current job to be quite large. Seems a bit like a gimmick to me.

True, though 3 months pay for seasoned employees is signifanctly different in timing and scale