She's recently come from Gambia, remember, where the cultural values around birth control and family size are very, very different from in your culture. There are cultures where women are shamed, punished, or outcast for "failure to conceive."

I have not heard anyone mention yet that federal aid programs do incentivize having kids, lots of kids. Any compassionate ideas for fixing that?

Yeah, in fairness I can see that's kinda insane. I guess I just get aggravated when I perceive people treating the issue as a simple decision, whereas the emotions around having/not having children are anything but.