Before sending my emails to co-workers and clients I check the first word of each paragraph. The mistake I tend to make is to start each sentence with "I" (not a native speaker).

Here, we have "I, We, I, Basically, I, As and Hey", and in the middle of the text there are far far more "I"s and "we"s than I find somewhat acceptable, either. Perhaps the rate is this bad in comparison to my language where the subject is given implicitly in affixes?

Regardless, how emails like this one can be seen as focused on the reader when you know less about the target audience?