I do this in every work conversation of any complexity. Probably 5-10 times a day. If it's awkward, you get over it pretty fast. Normally, I say "hey, can I summarize that in my own words to make sure I understood?" and as often as not the response is "Please do!" because nobody likes being misunderstood, and it happens all the time.
One issue to work around is that, due to the turn-taking rules of conversation, the other person will immediately launch into their next thing after you've summarized their last thing, instead of letting you make a response, or ask a question. That is, if they are thoughtless or socially inept, which is not exactly a rare kind of person to encounter at work. So, your summary of what they said effectively becomes your "turn" in the conversation, and your role becomes essentially an amanuensis rather than a participant.
You just need to be ready to interrupt a steamrolling colleague and say "--Well, before you continue, I wanted to respond to what you just said." That's actually more awkward to me than summarizing their initial monologue, but it's important because this method makes for frustratingly one-sided conversations if you don't assert yourself.
Yea this is a great point. I’m generally aware of what point I actually want to make after the fact so once I get an affirmative from the other person I can go “Thanks, so with that in mind blah blah blah” before anyone is able to take “my” turn :)
I do this in every work conversation of any complexity. Probably 5-10 times a day. If it's awkward, you get over it pretty fast. Normally, I say "hey, can I summarize that in my own words to make sure I understood?" and as often as not the response is "Please do!" because nobody likes being misunderstood, and it happens all the time.
One issue to work around is that, due to the turn-taking rules of conversation, the other person will immediately launch into their next thing after you've summarized their last thing, instead of letting you make a response, or ask a question. That is, if they are thoughtless or socially inept, which is not exactly a rare kind of person to encounter at work. So, your summary of what they said effectively becomes your "turn" in the conversation, and your role becomes essentially an amanuensis rather than a participant.
You just need to be ready to interrupt a steamrolling colleague and say "--Well, before you continue, I wanted to respond to what you just said." That's actually more awkward to me than summarizing their initial monologue, but it's important because this method makes for frustratingly one-sided conversations if you don't assert yourself.