<cynical-but-true>

It's because we've built an industry-wide culture of never broaching a topic of feedback that might be even a little uncomfortable. So it's frowned upon to say the thing that would actually help both the other person and yourself — and, often, the other person would have no idea how to hear such a thing anyway.

What we mean:

"The exercise of writing out what you want/mean will help you clarify your own thoughts and end up saving us both a lot of time. It would make the whole company better if we were all disciplined about doing that first, genuinely trying to make progress asynchronously, and then only jumping on a call if really needed."

Instead, we say:

"My internet has been weird all week. Do you mind if we do this one over chat?"

And then we hope that, after the 25th time we say this, they'll figure out the common-sense basics of human communication and empathy on their own.

</cynical-but-true>

With slightly less cynicism, in many cases most folks outside of "the industry" will engage in the same behavior and most folks won't ever be conciously aware of this behavior.

On a whole people tend to do a good job of working together in a way that minimizes instances of anger, dislike, or irritation. Not everyone is good at it, and few people are aware of what behaviors contribute to this cohesion.

This is one of those behaviors.