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Don't tell her the truth, make her puzzled.

Few days ago I had to help my grandma with hiding some utility cables behind a cover on a new door. I decided that a guy from tv cable company would be the most experienced with this and called their support. Please describe your issue? TV has no signal (it has). Are you at home? Yes (no). Let me check it... hmm, it's okay on our side. Did you try to rescan channels? Yes (of course not). I'll transfer your call to an operator, please wait. Sure, was nice to meet you too, stupid bot.

Make sure that you "have" a direct service problem and it doesn't align with scripted or online solutions.

As if anyone with half a brain would have have been stupid enough to shout at their phone for 20 minutes trying to get your shitty arse robot to understand them if they could have gone online instead.

There are plenty of people who call-first, to be fair.



Ignore the voice tree. Just shout profanities or "representative". Decent systems will pick up your frustration and divert you to the human queue.


This often works, but not always. And it's not always clear when it does work; the systems don't usually say something like, "Since you would like to set our entire executive leadership team on fire, we will transfer you to the next available agent."


If it's a subscription service, you can just say you're calling to cancel. If anything will get you on with a person, that will.




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