I agree with your general point, but I have to add that that example "compromise" sounds highly unsatisfactory for the wife. Not only does she have to accept the dirty dishes, but the simple task of putting them in the dishwasher immediately has been replaced by the fraught emotional labour of managing and enforcing a cleanup rota. I think the OP is right that he should have just taken the L on this issue, and perhaps on some other standard of cleanliness she should be the one to compromise.