I commented elsewhere in the thread but wanted to add my own 2 cents.
> Here’s the simple truth I’ve heard from many men: We need to be needed. We imagine ourselves as builders, soldiers, workers, brothers — part of something bigger than ourselves.
Add: protectors
This need is a very powerful piece of puzzle that is a man, IMO. It is, to me, completely inate, and something that emerges as you accumulate more of the traditional constructs of life: romantic partner, marriage, kid(s), dwelling. But it's also difficult to control and can cause unwelcome side effects like anxiety, tension with family, and etc.
One solution: I can't recommend therapy enough for everyone out there, especially the guys reading through this thread. It doesn't need to be therapy because you think you have a problem. Just a session per week or every other week that gives you a place to export your feelings and emotions.
I've talked with a therapist once a week for almost two months. It wasn't because I was feeling depressed about personal life or sad about a job. I just felt that it could help me balance some of the ups and downs in life, and it has accomplished EXACTLY that goal. Example: my therapist helped me better understand that some recent blood-boiling-level anxiety was caused by my desire to feel like the protector of my recently expanded (kid #2) family and desire to be the primary helper.
Therapists help you unlock connections between things that currently bother you and your past and provide you with epiphany-like moments. Very difficult to produce those moments when your coping mechanism lives entirely in your own head.
> Here’s the simple truth I’ve heard from many men: We need to be needed. We imagine ourselves as builders, soldiers, workers, brothers — part of something bigger than ourselves.
Add: protectors
This need is a very powerful piece of puzzle that is a man, IMO. It is, to me, completely inate, and something that emerges as you accumulate more of the traditional constructs of life: romantic partner, marriage, kid(s), dwelling. But it's also difficult to control and can cause unwelcome side effects like anxiety, tension with family, and etc.
One solution: I can't recommend therapy enough for everyone out there, especially the guys reading through this thread. It doesn't need to be therapy because you think you have a problem. Just a session per week or every other week that gives you a place to export your feelings and emotions.
I've talked with a therapist once a week for almost two months. It wasn't because I was feeling depressed about personal life or sad about a job. I just felt that it could help me balance some of the ups and downs in life, and it has accomplished EXACTLY that goal. Example: my therapist helped me better understand that some recent blood-boiling-level anxiety was caused by my desire to feel like the protector of my recently expanded (kid #2) family and desire to be the primary helper.
Therapists help you unlock connections between things that currently bother you and your past and provide you with epiphany-like moments. Very difficult to produce those moments when your coping mechanism lives entirely in your own head.