For wsl2, Vscode has integrations that let you do exactly that. I use python primarily and it lets you use the python interpreter installed on wsl. I assume other IDEs would have something similar or at least let you develop using a remote machine, but in this case you would configure it to point at your VM instead.
As long as your processes and files are from the wsl vm, it is extremely fast. I rather use the wsl shell, so all of my files are in the vm.
The problem is that special integration is required.
Personally I don't like VS Code, I too use IntelliJ IDEA, which will probably end up having support, but it didn't last time I tried.
On my Macbook I also use Emacs and GUI versus terminal shouldn't be an issue. I'd want Emacs from inside a WSL bash, I'd want it from the Windows GUI too. So that's going to be a headache.
As long as your processes and files are from the wsl vm, it is extremely fast. I rather use the wsl shell, so all of my files are in the vm.